Fourth of July Excuses for the Fifh

So the fourth is on a Wednesday this year. This means many employers expect you to have your freedom celebration limited to one day before you return to the slavery of your job on Thursday. What this means is you better start planning your excuses for you excess of consuming a fifth on the fourth.

1, Start coughing and complaining about mid-morning Monday. You have to keep a fine line between whining and soldiering on. What you need to do is cough, sneeze, and blow your nose loudly, rub your head a lot followed by this statement. "No, no I'm OK I've got a lot of important stuff to get done here."

2. When people ask about your plans for the Fourth, always start your reply with, "Well, I was planning on..." and end in with, "but if I don't start feeling better, I may just end up in bed. Cough, Cough."

2. As you leave the office Tuesday afternoon proclaim loudly, "Have a great Fourth! See ya' on Thursday! (Blow nose loudly.)"

3. Get the heck out of town on the Fourth. Unless you really do want ot spend the Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth in bed.

4. Call in on the Fifth with that really raspy voice. Call in early enough to get the voicemail.

5. Repeat step 4 on the Sixth.

Disclaimer: This Blog is for entertainment purposes only. If their is a complete moral and financial collapse from a bunch of lazy, lying, no good slackers on July 5th it ain't my fault. Heck, how can you blame me when I'll be down at the beach sippin' on some fruity drink with an umbrella. Man ain't this country great!