Hurry, Hurry! Step Right Up! The Science Fair Is About to Begin!

Many of you parents just finished your science fair projects last week. Woops, I meant, your kids just finished their Science Fair projects (wink, wink). You loving parents would never over step your boundaries and get over involved in your child’s homework would you?
My point of this article is really a bout the disappointment with the Science Fair title. If you are going too call it a fair you need to stick with the theme. The experiments need to be divided into fair categories such as Livestock Odor, Ultra-Fattening Concessions, Rides That Make You Regurgitate, and Freak Shows.
Many kids do you use animals in their projects with topics such as doggie breath (in dogs not fellow students), and doggie teeth whitener. My only stipulation to this is that each experiment involving animals must now include one scent of the animal and be displayed at the front door giving you the true aromatic welcome to a fair.
Next comes the high fat food experiments. Oreos? Twinkies? Does everything really taste better deep fried? It’s time we really found out through scientific experimentation. The real benefits of these experiments would be if these people were allowed to couple their experiment with the thrill ride scientists. Since budgets are tight doing such things as spinning around ten times and running 20 yards after eating deep fried Oreos will qualify as an effective Thrill Ride/Fatty Food Thriller Combo experiment.
Now to move on to the side shows. Many schools already have a female teacher with facial hair. If a student gets this teacher to agree to stand by his or her display and shouts, “Come see the bearded lady!” this student gets an automatic “A.” Same if the student gets a teacher or coach to pose as Lobster Boy, Pony Boy, or Snake Woman.
Think of all the little enthusiastic scientist you would create. “Oh mom, I won’t to be a scientist when I grow up so I can combine the effects of animal smells, fried twinkies, and roller coasters and publicly talk about Ms. Wilson’s mustache!” Not only would you create enthusiastic scientists but you could also create new people with career interests as fair roadies. Goodness knows we have not put our best foot forward in recruiting new Farris Wheel operators and ring the goldfish bowl with a ping pong bowl barkers.
See ya’ at the fair!