Well, we're about 3/4 of the way done putting up Christmas lights and I fully expect a knock on the door from a few shepherds and wiseguys. I think we're brighter than any star they could be following.
I would like to share a few helpful hints to anyone still putting up Christmas lights:
- If working on the roof, go barefooted. You will find your monkey gripping toes to be a great assett as you hang 3/4 of your weight over the edge of the roof to get that last light clipped. My first year of marriage, as I hung over the edge of the roof, I thought, "I guess my wife wants Christmas lights more than she wants a husband!"
- Duct Tape is the only thing that will keep your lights stuck to the side of your house. The clips with sticky are slick and stylish but we're looking for sticky here, not slick. And by the way to the manufacturer's of "Duck Tape" the most common brand of duct tape (cute name, huh?) your clear kind does not stick as well as the other colors.
- You can buy more electricity. Two years ago we knew we needed more electricity. I called the electrician in the yellow pages who did not have an ad. I wanted to pay for electricity not the guys ad. It sounded like I caught the guy washing dishes that night. The next day he came out, we had additional outlets and the house has not burned down (yet).
- Make sure the women of the house have dried their hair before sunset. Even after adding more electricity we still can't use the blow dryer with the Christmas lights on without blowing a fuse!
- Complaining about putting up Christmas lights is an oxymoronic phrase. If you're complainin' you're not ho-ho-hoin'! If it's that much of a pain, just drop a check in the mail to the Salvation Army and go watch Texas Walker re-runs.
- Shop the day after Christmas. Make an envy list and then go buy it for 75% off for pure assembly and cord untangling joy next year!
