Tallahassee has got to be the greatest place in the world to be in the spring time! Cool mornings and warm afternoons. The flowers bloom in a rhapsody of spring colors. God even sneezes pollen down on to our cars every night to give them a nice Springy yellow-green coating. The legislators add comedy by trying to spend our taxpayers’ money while saying they are saving our taxpayers’ money and all the while allowing us taxpayers to enjoy the bounty of all the tax money they have spent while cutting back on our taxes. (You gotta admit that’s way funnier than Abbot and Costello’s “Who’s On First?” routine!)
But most of all this Saturday the powers that be decided to drop a football game down right here in the middle of all this spring bounty! Yep, the annual FSU spring Garnet and Gold game gives a southerner what he truly longs for, football! Ok, so now it has been moved down to not a real game but just a glorified scrimmage. But, nonetheless (I can’t believe “nonetheless” is actually one word), there will be some of the finest athletes in the country throwing around a brown sphere with a point at each end, wearing gold helmets and popping each other to the ground. Actually, that is one of my favorite parts of the Garnet and Gold game. There is not enough crowd noise to drown out the “CRACK” of a good hit, or a little trash talk between players, or even a good chewing out by a coach.
Now this year they have even gone one step farther in making it seem like real Seminole football. Yep, it will hearken back to the glory days of Saturday Night Fever when fans would release thousands of balloons into the night sky when Chief Osceola planted his spear at midfield. For those of you who don’t remember this joyful period, it was when the Seminoles weren’t good enough to be on daytime television and administrators cared about fans not having heat strokes in the September mid-day sun. Oh, and the balloons? Well the above mentioned legislators decided that some wayward gator might strangle on one of our well traveled balloons. (Lord knows we wouldn’t want to have one less gator in the world, reptile or alum.)
Yes, Springtime in Tallahassee! American by birth and Tallahasseean by the grace of God!
Showing posts with label tallahassee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tallahassee. Show all posts
Friday, April 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Hmm, I Wonder What the Weather's Like In Tallahassee in August?
If you haven’t heard, the Tallahassee City Commission recently put a bid in to Krispy Kreme to acquire the “Hot Now” signs to use as the city limits signs for Tallahassee. Yes, kiddies, it’s so that when you order sushi around here by the time it gets to your table you end up with a full fledge fried seafood platter.
I tell a children’s story that’s theme is that all people do is walk around and say, “Shor is hawt!” Well, low and behold (that’s the first time I’ve ever written that phrase in my life) if life didn’t imitate art. I was recently at a swim meet at our beautiful Trousdale Aquatic Center when I came across the same man three times in about four hours. Each time the man just looked at me, shook his head and said, “Shor is hawt!” I know you’ll be shocked but I don’t have a witty come back for that. Now if I get to have the first word I smarmily say, “Maybe it’ll warm up soon.” Boy that sure leaves ‘em rolling in the aisles.
Now to go back as the old man talking about the good ol’ days (Be sure and suck your lips in over your teeth and talk in a wheezy voice.) I remember playing basketball on the black top asphalt that essentially acted like a pancake griddle. Your Chuck Taylor Converse All-Stars would almost start to bubble up like flap jacks and then your feet would feel like the roof of your mouth after taking that first bite of too hot pizza. I often wondered how I found it so easy to drive to the basket unscathed. But I just now realized with all that sweat pouring out I was slicker than a toad swimming in a tub of Vaseline. Heck, I wouldn’t want to get within ten feet of me either. As they say, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humility.” Yes, the humility of having underarm rings despite four layers of deodorant. Yes, the humility of having a big ring of sweat on the back of your shirt if you spend more than ten minutes outside.
To twist a cliché I guess the weather is much like the president, everybody complains about him but nobody does anything about him. So when its so hot out there the chickens are laying bacon I guess the only thing I can say is, “Shor is hawt!”.
I tell a children’s story that’s theme is that all people do is walk around and say, “Shor is hawt!” Well, low and behold (that’s the first time I’ve ever written that phrase in my life) if life didn’t imitate art. I was recently at a swim meet at our beautiful Trousdale Aquatic Center when I came across the same man three times in about four hours. Each time the man just looked at me, shook his head and said, “Shor is hawt!” I know you’ll be shocked but I don’t have a witty come back for that. Now if I get to have the first word I smarmily say, “Maybe it’ll warm up soon.” Boy that sure leaves ‘em rolling in the aisles.
Now to go back as the old man talking about the good ol’ days (Be sure and suck your lips in over your teeth and talk in a wheezy voice.) I remember playing basketball on the black top asphalt that essentially acted like a pancake griddle. Your Chuck Taylor Converse All-Stars would almost start to bubble up like flap jacks and then your feet would feel like the roof of your mouth after taking that first bite of too hot pizza. I often wondered how I found it so easy to drive to the basket unscathed. But I just now realized with all that sweat pouring out I was slicker than a toad swimming in a tub of Vaseline. Heck, I wouldn’t want to get within ten feet of me either. As they say, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humility.” Yes, the humility of having underarm rings despite four layers of deodorant. Yes, the humility of having a big ring of sweat on the back of your shirt if you spend more than ten minutes outside.
To twist a cliché I guess the weather is much like the president, everybody complains about him but nobody does anything about him. So when its so hot out there the chickens are laying bacon I guess the only thing I can say is, “Shor is hawt!”.
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